Why you should block your ex

One minute you’re browsing their Instagram… the next, you’re crying down the phone to them in the back of a taxi, on the way to their house.

G-String Blues

I had been, for the last hour, flashing my underwear to my entire workplace

Making grand gestures is his forte, but beware – his moral compass is about as wayward as Augustus Gloop in a chocolate shop

He looked up slowly through his eyelashes, a Gaston- like smirk playing on his lips

We are relying upon algorithms to inform us, via email, of our recommended shags within a 5-mile radius – what a time to be alive!

The film was without a doubt one of the worst I have ever seen – I won’t name any names, but it rhymes with Des Wiserbaables