I think we can all probably remember the first time we were called ‘crazy’ by a man.
Well, in my case, by a boy. A boy sprouting his very first moustache hairs, no less.
He was the lead singer in the school band and had Justin Bieber hair. Needless to say, dating him sky-rocketed me to dizzying heights of associated-fame at school. As time passed, Bieber began to hint that I really should spend some time ‘in the bushes’ with him… Well, you can very well imagine what might have happened ‘in the bushes’ under the cover of darkness at boarding school. At the ripe old age of 15, this was certainly not on my ‘to do’ list, (I was a very ‘late developer’ as my mother insisted upon constantly reminding me).
Realising that I was not going to make his American Pie-esque dreams come true, Bieber promptly dumped me and I was catapulted right back to the bottom of the school food-chain. Unfortunately for me, sexual rejection had been deigned a heinous crime at the flicky-haired, pre-pubescent tw*ts convention. Thus, the humiliation did not stop at an impromptu dumping. To ensure that I would never again date a school A-Lister, I was branded ‘crazy’.
So, for all of you who have suffered similar treatment at the hands of a fluffy-chinned Bieber, or otherwise, this is what men (or boys), really mean when they call you ‘crazy’:
- You intimidated him intellectually:
Tale as old as time, (song as old as rhyme?), men may label you ‘crazy’ when they simply can’t keep up with you on an intellectual level – think Belle & Gaston. You can’t blame the poor things, they just cannot conceive that a woman might have superior brain-power to them and go into overload, (a bit like when your phone gets too hot in the sun and needs a little rest).
2. You rejected him sexually:
When men work on the principle of Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ (‘no’ means ‘maybe’, ‘maybe’ means ‘yes’, sparkly top means u want it luv), they are bound to feel humiliated when this expectation is not conducive with reality. Humiliation breeds bitterness, bitterness breeds the desire for revenge – badda-bing, badda-boom, you are ‘clinically insane’ for not fancying a fumble in Asda carpark (and also frigid, obvs).
3. You stood up for yourself:
You have OPINIONS? Nuh-uh, don’t think so – your job is to smile and nod at the opinions of someone with a DING DONG, lady! Some men do not feel comfortable in the company of women who stand up for what they believe in, including their own rights. Well guess what, Rosa Parks pissed people off, so did Emmeline Pankhurst, so does Serena Williams… you get the gist, it’s no bad thing to make ignorant people feel uncomfortable when you’re busy changing the world. Don’t you dare feel bad for making a man disgruntled
4.You have emotions:
For some men, it can be quite baffling to consider that not every person has the emotional range of a teaspoon (credit for that zinger goes to Hermione Granger). For example, you may be deemed ‘crazy’ for getting upset over a video of your boyfriend grinding on his ex in the club. Well, he’s right, you are crazy… for not dumping him immediately. If a guy calls you ‘crazy’ for being upset in a situation like this, it is highly likely that he is trying to distract you from his sh*tty behaviour by making you doubt yourself. NOPE – you can do better.
Whilst I know all too well the gut-wrenching, face-stinging humiliation of being called ‘crazy’ by a man, whatever the status of his facial hair – just remember this : a man who is secure in himself has no need to put down or belittle a woman (so if he does, it’s probably ’cause he’s got a teeny weeny).
Big up to all my ‘crazy’ babes out there